If you were to look through my webcam album, you’d think I was slowly preparing to do a really sad one-man adventure time play,

and you’d be right. 

(not really but think about it)

Look out, y’all. Favorite new hat alert.

Have you ever genuinely considered wearing a novelty hat outside of where you live? 

No?

You’re probably not as flippin’ tough as I am.  

It is muh’fuckin’ 46 degrees out here, homie. Where did that come from?

Oh, and you are mistaken if you don’t think I am seriously considering wearing this incredibly warm novelty hat outside today. 

Okay, before I leave (and I’m late) I just want to throw a thought out there:

It’s finally cold enough to wear my kermit hat outside, but after eating frog legs a few days ago, I feel like a monster. 

What now?

Edit: I needz to tweeze those eyebrows, honey. Eesh.